Trust.

Senior Year.
Stressed like heck.
I must retake the SAT in November, make applications by November 15, make a decision on which college to go to soon after that, and actually graduate. I think I will die.
But more than that, I have been really struggling with what God wants me to do with my life.. now. I think that I sometimes live in the future, worrying about what I'll do then and there and all that... when I should be living out God's will right now...
I dunno about the rest of ya'll, but I learn things the hard way. And God's been teaching me a hard lesson lately - trust. I always say I trust God, but do I really? Do I really give up all the controls in my life and turn them over to God? I think most often I say, "Here God, you can have this part of my life. But I really think I should handle this part, ok?" And God's like, "Um... No Harim, how about you give me that too. I won't hurt you, you know that. Why won't you trust me?" I kinda ignored him and went on doing what I wanted, and ultimately screwed up big time. And I'm trying to fix my mistake now, but God's still been prodding me... saying, "Wait. I will handle this. Will you trust me this time?" And I really want to... I really need to.

Life.

So.
End of year = end of patience which ultimately = life sucks.
So... here I am, on May 3, 2012. Yeah. I know. The world should have ended by now.
But still.... here I am, breathing and living. As well as being a butt to everyone around me. Lately I've been stressed with school... all of the work that it entails as well as the drama that associates with mid/high schoolers. I've been struggling with my time... lately I've just sat down and have done... virtually nothing. In fact, I seem to be wasting my time most days. My bitterness that comes from stress has turned into insensitivity, and that clearly hurts a lot of my close friends. I get extremely sensitive towards anything that I may find even the slightest bit annoying. So what does this all end in? Misery. Oh well. Life's rough I guess :P