content.......
but I knw it won't last.
That's the thing with my life... everytime I'm hvng the bst times in the wrld, i hv that sinking feeling tht it'll be ovr soon..... like standing on a beach... the sun's shining..... the sand's soft.... everything's perfect. but there's that wave in the distance... increasing in size, gaining speed. A tsunami.
I love how my life is right now.... my friends are close, Kalista's so happy again... Grace opens up to me as if I rly am her sister.... Hannah's able to express her real emotions to me.... Nashi and I cn talk in Turkish to each other nd laugh..... I hv awesome mama's.... gettin to knw more abt Saraaaa. Such awesome ppl in my life. My boyfriend makes me feel like i'm the only one he'll evr like.... holds me and nothing matters.
Such blessings in my life. Such happy happy happy chocolates :)
Maybe I'm jst emo or smthn.... I shld prolly jst be thnkfl and not b so pessimistic. But I can't help thinkn abt the time.... so mny ppl r leaving... two mom's r leaving - whatever will I do without them?? - a lot of my friends r leavn.... Kalista. If she leaves..... I dnt evn knw wat that'd be like.... I keep praying that God wld let her stay. But everytime I rmbr Jesus at the Garden.... saying, "But not my will, but yours be done." Is God asking me to let her go? To really lay down everything... to really give up all of my life, all of the things I love... even my best friend? Even someone who makes my day, just seeing her smile triggers a smile.... just being with her, evn if we don't talk is comforting. Not talking to her for a couple of days is so hard.
But not my will, but yours be done God. I give everything. It's all yours. I know you have a greater plan. Your blessings.... are "trials in disguise."
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